I am looking back at the Christian Bible and redefining my religious roots. That;s what this blog is for. My New Scripture record. I am creating The Word for myself.
Did I confidently command my energy today?
It is not about righteousness for me anymore, but whether I am of Spirit. Righteousness is concerned with control, filling spaces, and maintaining order. Spirit shapes and commands rather than controls a space.
I want to command my energy and not control it any longer. I am not a box nor do I have to live in one.
I have a male partner whom I love and with whom I am in a beautiful relationship with. I also have grand energy and physical beauty I possess. I have chosen to learn how to enjoy and command my energy when around or in the company of attractive men who recognize these qualities. I would not try to control it because this would heel and enslave it.
A moment today: Talking to Khalil. I have noticed in the last few days of lovely, lovely time spent with the fam-friends of MVMT, Khalil and I gravitated to each other quickly and I was so physically close to him as I found him responding to me in a physically close comfortable way. Then I know I got to thinking in terms of righteousness and felt it may "look wrong" for him, a married man, and I a partnered woman, to be warmly close with each other. BOOOO! So he changed up, I believe because he felt this energy form me. But today, today, he sat next to me for a long time, wanting to discuss the event on the 17th. We talked for at least a 1/2hr. Julia let us. She has been sitting in between us and making her physical presence known, which I have noticed and am letting be wishing her joy and peace and freedom from all suffering while I was in her kitchen alone. But there was a moment when Khalil was talking to me that I let myself release my energy and let it connect with and/or spread. I let it be, and it felt sooooo good. So calm.
Second moment: Wanting my New Years focus sharing to be received as astounding and feeling it was not. Feeling for ten minutes straight after sharing that I was deflated. Felt insecure. Then I heard Kavon say "being born" which was a phrase I said and I felt heard. But more importantly, I quickly got passed wanting the room to connect it too--back to me--and was felt it was enough FINALLY ENOUGH, to just feel the connection within and of myself. I smiled inside and to myself sooo sincerely. Sooo good. So full and fine :)
